so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
