I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
