I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
nutella sex= disaster
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
