I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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