He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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