your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
