We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
