spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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