She went from zero to smokin in five shots
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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