bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
