I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
