so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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