if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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