quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
