our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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