I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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