i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I cut my penus on the lid.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
