i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
