Pappa wants mamma naked
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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