Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
