Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
