Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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