Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
love makes seman taste better
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
