is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I love you. Go after that dick
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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