There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
