So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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