When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Randomize
