You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
