after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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