So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
