He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Shame is for Republicans.
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