I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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