her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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