a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
