I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
