The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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