I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize