new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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