I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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