you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
