im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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