It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
