Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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