Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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