hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
