ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
