Just fell off a train. Bad.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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