i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
