no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
either way he was missing a nipple.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So squirting runs in the family.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
