it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
