Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
