Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
