god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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