Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
