'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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