In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
