hell yes lets make some ravioli
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize