The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
