I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
