It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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